First Things First

Dear Future Visitors, New Residents and People Pondering Coming To Rochester,

You don't know me and I don't know you -this is the internet after all- and there's really no reason whatsoever you should take my zeitgeist for all things Rochester so seriously as to allow it to sway your opinion in one direction or the other, but I promise you this: you will love it here. (Why do I hear a chorus of surly city dwelling denizens laughing right now?) I'm not kidding, this city that I love so much may be the best place in the world despite some of our shortcomings and problems.

Yes, we have problems - lots of them - and if you're coming here from a place that isn't riddled with issues please let me know where you live and I'll rename this blog, move to your hometown and stay there forever. I'm not talking about a "one horse, no stoplight" town in the middle of some rural area that seems like paradise because there's nothing going on and your neighbors are 10 miles away. I love places like that too, don't get me wrong. One day, when it's time to retire and settle down I plan on finding a place like that for my very own. But, and this is a big, stinking, really odd but, those places have problems too. There's the crystal-meth boom that's sweeping through rural areas of the entire country, not to mention the dwindling hopes and financial gains of independent farmers who -not very long ago, mind you- were once a very, very important part of our economic structure as a nation. Times have changed, as they are want to do on occasion.

I won't steer you wrong, potential visitor/tourist/resident; which is why I'm letting the first post be the only post I'm going to write that has some negativity to it regarding my hometown. See, like a lot of cities that have been upended by economic turmoil and the semi-regular mini-collapse of businesses that once powered Rochester (see: Kodak, Xerox), we've got some (how do I put this nicely...)dicey areas that one would be best to keep away from. You'll find these destitute areas filled with detritus in just about any city in America. You wouldn't want to take a midnight stroll down a dark alley in Harlem, would you? You wouldn't think to wear anything but a Phillie's jersey while attending a game in Philadelphia, would you? No, you wouldn't, because bad things would happen to you and that's just not cool, man. We're not so bad off here in Rochester though, compared to a bunch of cities, towns, villages and trailer parks that were ravaged by the latest economic anti-boom, so don't let my depressing diatribe sway you, I'm just laying the cards on the table so I can be as honest as humanly possible. Which brings me to my next point...

... don't spend your time in downtown proper when you come for a visit, because you won't find much to do and there's a pretty decent chance you'll see a fight at the liberty poll, or stumble into what used to be the biggest shopping mecca in the city, only to discover a sallow looking DMV, some stores that are barely hanging on by a thread and a guy named Rob who likes to dance the shuffle-shoe for a few dimes a song. It's sad. Really sad. So, stay away from the "center city" if you want to enjoy yourself and not get depressed the instant you walk out of your hotel.

Before I get to the good stuff, let me warn you about our citizens here in Rochester, because we like to complain (see the past few paragraphs for proof). Whether it be about the weather or taxes or this dog we saw that had a weird looking tongue, Rochestarians are born and bred to be gripers of the highest level. If there was an award handed out each year to the city that most closely resembles Droopy, Rochester would be in the running and probably win more than I'd care to admit. The funny thing is, we don't really mean it, and most of the time we're pretty damn funny about it too, because you'd have to be with the type of weather we have in this city, and all the taxes, and the dogs with weird looking tongues.

Oh, right, the weather... heh... well, I've lived her my entire life and I'm still not used to it. Here's an example: It snowed 2 weeks ago and it's 90 degrees outside as I type this, but I'm a masochist by nature so I don't mind the fact that we can, literally, have all 4 seasons in a week. It's kind of great, really. We, as a people, have a tremendous appreciation for the outdoors and nature because of our ridiculous weather. If the sun is shining, Rochestarians are going to be outdoors doing something. We're big on gardening and dog walking and strolling through some of the awesome parks we have (like Highland Park, which was designed by the same guy who designed Central Park). We like to eat at restaurants that have tables under umbrellas, or, minus the umbrellas, it doesn't matter we like to be outside when we can because the winter can be brutally demoralizing (or, mild and lacking the amount of snow you barricade yourself into your house expecting). Honestly, we're nuts for nice weather in this city and it shows on the faces of even the most cynical residents when they are out and about on a nice day. It really lifts your heart when you see one of us smiling for no reason other than the sun is out and there's no snow on the ground. It's probably why we're so golf crazy.

Seriously, this city and it's surrounding areas have more golf courses than we know what to do with, and I love it. If you're a golfer and want to play at, say Oak Hill (host of past majors, the Ryder Cup and future host of another PGA Championship in a couple years time) there's a very good chance you'll be able to get on. Or, if you don't want to pony up the dough for a course of that caliber, you can check out Greystone, Mill Creek or any of the several dozen local courses in the area. It's the Western New York equivalent of Myrtle Beach, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

So, what do you like to do? Independent Movies? Go to The Little. Baseball? We have our very own minor league team and a fantastic, gorgeous stadium full of the best fans in the world (this is "baseball city USA" after all). Classical Music? We've got places for that too, The Auditorium Center (which I've heard has some of the best acoustics in the world... get it?) and the Eastman School of Music. Do you like really good food? Shoot, there are so many spectacular restaurants in Rochester I can't even think of the best one off the top of my head; no, wait, yes I can, 2 Vine. There you go. Are you into tattooed, hipster guys and girls that wear ironic t-shirts, skinny jeans, too much gel in their hair and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon ironically? Well, head to Lux Lounge on South Ave. on a Friday or Saturday night and it's like walking into the heart of Williamsburg. Do you like great beer in a pub atmosphere and some really good food at the same time? There's this place called Tap and Mallet and it is exactly that.

Hold up, I'm going to say this now (my first, official recommendation!): if you come to Rochester, you have to go to Tap and Mallet. Go on a Saturday afternoon when Jeana is waiting tables and you will be in for such a treat I can barely stop myself from emoticonning all over the place right now. Order the poutine for an appetizer, but be sure you head in with an empty stomach, because you will get full... very full. They get fresh draft beer in almost daily and the variety and quality is mind-boggling. I can't say this strongly enough, you must go to Tap and Mallet if you are visiting Rochester.

Now, future visitor/tourist/resident you have a very little taste for some of the great things Rochester has to offer and, unfortunately, a better, more robust taste for some of the negative aspects of our city. I didn't want to lie to you, though, after all this is our first date and I'm just getting to know you and you really aren't sure whether or not I'm the type of guy you can trust or take home to meet your parents. So, I'm pretty sure you're not sold about Rochester, yet, but that will change as I continue to bring you, my faithful readers and future visitors/tourists/residents all the stuff in my city that happens that people need to know about. We get kind of a bad rap around here sometimes, and I don't like that, and I'm going to try my damndest to change it! I'm not doing this for money or personal gain or anything like that, I'm doing this because I really, really love my city.

Remember this,though, before you click away to something more interesting and better written, Rochester really is a fantastic city full of amazing people. It's surprising, even to me after all these years, how much Rochester has to offer and I hope to bring the people of the internet so much Rochester goodness that you'll have no choice but to come to my city, say hello, we'll grab a drink somewhere. It'll be great.

-Jim L.


ps- if you live here, in Rochester, I would love to post some pictures or news or anything really that you would seem fit to share with the public in general. I'd like to link to other similar sites as well, so don't be basfhul!